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One lump or two…Part Deux

Okay….so now I know what it is like to get a mammogram. Ladies the secret is out, the next time I hear a woman complain about how painful or uncomfortable it is to get one it will take me about a millisecond to do a cannonball jump into that conversation! And when they ask me “how do you know what it is like?” I can pull out my “I Got a Mammogram Once” membership card and wave in their face.

Seriously, it is a pretty unsettling feeling sitting in the waiting room with a half dozen other women waiting to get called back. I didn’t sleep all that well the last few nights, and this morning when I got up I felt around one last time to see if by some great miracle the lump had gone away. No such luck, it was still there, and I was going to have to keep my appointment this morning. While I haven’t been completely unnerved about the lump, I was still fairly concerned. From my symptoms and the research I did online I didn’t think it would be cancer, but stranger things…right?

When the nurse came and called me to go back with her, I envisioned that I was being led to some sort of medieval torture chamber. I have heard plenty of stories over the years about this mythical machine that mashes women’s mammary glands to abnormally thin proportions while it takes ages for the image to be taken. The machine as a whole did not look too imposing and after the nurse put some funny looking stickers on my nipples she took the first image. After the first image I inquired that was it? I wanted to know when the real squeezing was to begin? When would I have to bite down on my belt so I wouldn’t cry out? Was she just warming up, when was she going to bring the real pain? The reality, she brought me some mild discomfort. So now in the immortal words of Paul Harvey, I know the rest of the story.

As a whole the mammography process was fairly straight forward and within 10 minutes of having my man boobs squished a little and imaged from multiple angles I was diagnosed with having gyencomastia. I was given an information sheet that explained what it is and the causes. I discovered that it can be caused by a variety of factors, including the medications I am on, hormonal changes as I grow old or there are some more serious things that will cause it, most of which are most likely not applicable to me. So all in all, much ado about nothing, I just need to follow-up with my GP and see if there are some meds that may be causing this issue.

So the answer to the quest was, one lump…and it seemed that it was made from artificial sweetener.

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