And the Mother of the year award goes to….

Oh the things one will over hear at a retail store. I am sure all of you (when I say all of you, that means the 3 readers in the US, you know who you are…and then all of my Ukrainian followers) have seen the websites that post funny pictures of people shopping in Wal-Mart. I wonder what that constitutes a funny picture of people in Wal-Mart in the Ukraine? I know for certain they have Wal-Mart’s there, I did my research, plus where else will the buy their borscht at a super low price? Can’t you see the elderly woman in a hand knitted skirt and sweater wearing a blue vest saying “laskavo prosymo to Wal-Mart” (that means welcome to Wal-Mart in Ukrainian) Any way I am already digressing…I think someone needs to have a website where they post audio clips of stupid things that are overheard in a retail store. For example, last night I am standing in line at my local CVS waiting to check out. In front of me is a mother, and what I ultimately found out through the discourse she had with the cashier, her son. Now I would put her son at around 25 or 26 he was dressed in jeans, flannel shirt, dirty baseball hat, and for lack of better description he had on shit kickers on…oh yeah a spiffy neck tattoo. The mom was dressed rather sloppily in a short sleeve t-shirt and an ugly sort of stretch material pants. The short sleeves she was wearing allowed her to show off her jail house looking tat’s on her forearms. She was either in her mid 40′s or mid 50′s….it was tough to tell, I will be kind here, and just say that the years were not treating her as good as they could. So the cashier has everything rang up and she says “will there be anything else?” and the woman in front of me has this epiphany like moment and says oh wait…you needed a pack of cigarettes didn’t you honey, referring to the man standing next to her.Mother-of-the-Year (again, right now I don’t know that this is her son, but I am quickly coming to that conclusion.) And he grunts something out that resembled “uh yeah” and then these pearls of dialogue started to spew forth. Mom..”Well what kind do you want honey?” Son…” Uh I don’t know maybe Marlboro’s.” Mom..”Now wait they need to be on sale…we can’t get them if they aren’t on sale!” (apparently they will want a discounted coffin when the times comes as well)…Son…”Uh Marlboro blacks are on sale.” Mom to cashier “Okay we will take a pack of Marlboro Blacks.” Cashier turning around and pointing to 6 or 7 different types of packs of Marlboro Black packs..[side rant] First when did Marlboro make a used to be Red and Green and regular or 100′s…now we have Black and apparently different variations?[end side rant] “Which one do you want?” Then the real fun began..the game of…that one, no to the right…now up a row..over…Oh those aren’t 100′s…I wanted 100′s…no not those…over farther…wait those are menthol…no…no those aren’t on sale….up a row…okay yeah I’ll take that one. And then the topper came…Mom says…get this “I just want to make sure my baby boy is happy and is getting what he wants.” I am sorry…but are you fucking kidding me? Really…you want to make sure your baby boy is happy with what pack of cigarettes you are buying for him!… Sweet baby Jesus…if you are that concerned you should be buying him a pack of condoms instead…We sure as hell don’t need this bloodline to procreate anymore than it has. The branch of this family tree needs to stop growing tout de suite!

Like This Post? Share It

Comments are closed.