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How many Ukrainians does it take….

Ever since I got the news on Tuesday I have been pretty pumped and have shared my news with everyone except one person…my spouse. I know…I know…you are thinking What!?! Why the hell not?….That is a good question, and I have a decent illogical answer for it. First, let me say that I do love my wife and my decision to go down this path of WLS is as much for her and my children as it is for me. Again, this is about longevity and not vanity. I also know that she loves me as well, but I am not entirely sold that she is behind me 100% on this surgery. I think she is a strong 90%, but somewhere I sense that she just isn’t completely there with me. She played devil’s advocate pretty hard with me when I announced that I had made up my mind and was going to have my guts re-plumbed. And while I included her in my thoughts about making this decision, I did not include her in the actual process of the decision making.

So why haven’t I told her the news? This sort of falls into that other 10%. She has known that I have been waiting on the insurance company to give their final approval. As of Thursday last week we discussed that I was supposed to hear from the insurance company on that Friday. If you are one of the 3 real readers of the blog you know that didn’t happen and I missed on winning a bushel basket full of Hryvnia’s! Since then we have talked several times about my diet, the things I am doing to try to prepare, but yet she has not asked or in my view shown any interest in wanting to know if I have heard back from the insurance company. So now I have reached the awkward point, do I just mention non-chalantly….”hey, I heard from them and I am approved.” or do I just continue on and if she asks great, and if not, well when I get my surgery date I will send her a calendar invite so she knows. I am at a little bit of a cross roads, as I said my answer/s are somewhat illogical, but it just festers with me that she does not think enough about this impending life changing event to ask me about this.

I get it, we are both busy with work, the kids and life in general. And if I really want to deep dive into this I suppose that I can blame myself a little, hell maybe even a lot. I have been one to always keep things close and not share my true feelings with others. It is a fault, I know it is, but this elephant is not about to change its spots in mid stream. Yeah, I know, I am putting this out there to 3 maybe 4 readers and at least a 1,000 more in the Ukraine, then there is the possibility of at least 2 or 3 more when I tweet this post out. ..But in general I don’t share a lot of me to my loved ones or anyone else for that matter. I am a private person, I keep a lot to myself, secrets are safe with me, but as much as I am a private person I will also speak my mind with very little filter from brain to lips, though normally it is because I am cracking wise on something. Like How many Ukrainians does it take to change a light bulb? None. In Chernobyl, one just holds the bulb and it glows by itself…sorry bad joke, but it still gets a laugh in the borsht line.

So to put this all into perspective and re-cap all of this for you. I am pissed because my wife has not asked about the insurance approval. My reasoning of why I am pissed is probably flawed and illogical. And ultimately it is most likely MY problem that I am pissed and I should just tell her I heard from the insurance company. So if I take an honest look at this maybe I AM the cause and I should also BE the solution, but she still should have thought to asked me….right? Never mind…I don’t think I want to know the answer.

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