Where you won’t find happiness….

Day 14 Optifast

This is the week where things are all coming to a head and to coin the phrase…shit is about to get real.  Yesterday I attended a mandatory 4 hour lecture on what to expect pre-op and post-op.  My wife did attend this with me and I think that she walked away from that meeting scared to death.  Through out the entire process I have done my homework and there were few surprises for me in meeting.  Most of the information that was disseminated yesterday I have read or heard before.  Though the fact that once the surgery is done they do not ever want me to chew gum again was a new one for me….I know crazy right? But it is a safety issue, because if you were to accidentally swallow the gum there is a chance that it won’t pass through the system and it has to be surgically removed.  So I guess Dentyne will just have to do without my future business.  I will admit, while I knew most these things, when it is laid out in front of you, and you know that your surgery date is less than 3 weeks away.  I will try to put this as succinctly as possible.  It certainly tightened my sphincter muscles yesterday hearing it all spelled out like it was.

Unfortunately, much, if not all of what my wife heard yesterday was new to her, from what actually takes place during the operation to the staged recovery process.  This was a little disappointing, as I had sent her some video links early on in the process for her to watch, but by her own admission she said that she never watched them.  Nor had she researched anything on her own during the last 6 months.  So here is something for those that maybe going through this process in the future and you happen to stumble upon this.  COMMUNICATION is important with your wife, significant other, life partner or whatever the case maybe.  This is a fucking scary process, and if you don’t have a support system in place and someone you can talk to, it becomes exponentially more daunting.  I am probably just as much to blame in this as her.  I have spoken to others that are in the process of WLS or have already gone through it, but I have neglected probably the person I should have been trying to speak to the most.  Is it my fault?…her fault?  At this point it really doesn’t matter I am moving on with this and in a little over two weeks we will be dealing with post-op recovery.

One interesting question my wife asked me, or at least a concern she has.  She wondered if I would be happy after this is over, having to be so restrictive on certain things and always having to deal with the after effects, eating certain ways, needing to stay hydrated differently (can only drink a few ounces of fluid at a time, so it is important to regularly sip on something.) The only thing I can say is that I am not happy now…nor if I stayed the same course happiness will not be appearing on my horizon anytime soon.  What I don’t know, I don’t know…no one can gauge if this will make them happy or be a burden they loathe.  Am I trading one burden for another?  I won’t know that until I am living it daily.  What I do know, daisiesis that if I don’t do something to make a significant lifestyle change, it really doesn’t matter because from what I understand, you won’t find a lot of happiness looking at the ass side of a daisy.  And that is what my view would most likely be sooner rather than later if I don’t do this.

So tomorrow I have my last meeting with the surgeon before my actual surgery.  I have a list of questions to ask him, and my wife will be there for this meeting as well.  After this meeting I have a mandatory exercise class on Friday and final weigh in and pre-op testing next Thursday. final thing.  My first official Optifast weigh-in was yesterday as well. I have dropped a total of 22lbs in less than 14 days. It may sound like a lot and to a normal person that is, though when you are tipping the scale near the baby hippo range, 22lbs is a baby step in the right direction.  But it is the right direction and as my nutritionist told me when I weighed in two weeks ago.  That number will only go lower from here on out….and he is correct.  If anything the loss has made me just feel better overall.  I can’t wait to see how I feel after I lose 220lbs.

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