We’re gonna need a bigger pill box….

Okay, so I am going to try to get caught up on this post.  I may gloss over quite a bit, but it has drug out too long and I need to catch up to present day.

So coming home was a good thing, it was nice just to be unattached from a machine and in my own surroundings.  I will tell you the first few days I was still in a pretty good Percocet haze,  and was taking them every 4 hours to manage the pain.  I still had a drain coming out of my stomach which was a bit surreal and just trying to make sure I didn’t spill any of it was a challenge.  Another good thing about coming home was a shower and shave.  That will automatically bump things up a few points in a positive direction.  Never under estimate the value of a hot shower and fresh shave…does the body and mind good!

During the first 5 days I was home from the hospital I was on a pure clear liquid diet…meaning, water, gatorade, watered down fruit juice and Jello…oh sweet Jello.  There was much happiness to be found in the bottom of a sugar free Jello cup.  Never thought I would say that, but dark cherry Jello was truly a delight for me.  I didn’t keep track over those 5 days of how many calories that I ingested, but I will tell you that it was NO more than 700 total in those 5 days.  Mainly coming from watered down fruit juice and the G2 brand of Gatorade.  I could feel the weight coming off me with no problem.

I couldn’t wait to get back to the Bariatric office for my first follow-up visit and more importantly to get the drain out.  I will also mention that during the 5 days I did get calls from them and the hospital following up and seeing how I was doing.  My insurance company even called…yes, a live person! and they wanted to know if I needed anything.  I was truly impressed with that, but at that time I was tired of giving everyone a blow by blow account of my daily drinking, pill taking, urinating and bowel movement practices.  It was like the Grand Inquisition at times… “Tell me…tell me, right this instant… when is the last time you made a doody!”  All that was missing is the blinding light in my eyes and the “good cop.”

So the trip to the Bariatric office was no walk in the park for a few reasons.  First that tube removal thing?  The one everyone told me was so painless.  Well…that wasn’t my fucking case.  That bitch stung coming out then caused me to have a Vasovagal response.  Which right about that time my surgeon blows into the room tells me everything is looking good and then starts talking about the liver biopsy they did on me.  Then as my head is starting to spin a little he starts throwing out words like  ”nonalcoholic steatohepatitis.” Yeah…say that 3 times fast.  My head is spinning and I feel like I am going to pass out and all I key in on is the word hepatitis. Which shakes me a little bit, but I listen a little closer and he tells me this is an advanced form of “fatty liver disease” and if left unchecked will progress slowly towards cirrhosis of the liver. you can imagine at that point I am just at my limit.  All I want to do is lay down, get a cold wash cloth on my head and order a strong drink!  I quit drinking 25 years ago to fucking avoid cirrhosis of the liver, and now someone is telling me that too many fucking cheeseburgers will cause it.  So let’s fast forward a little before I digress and go way off track.  I got some watered down cranberry juice in me, a cold towel on my forehead and got to the point where we could come home armed with 2 new prescriptions the name of a liver specialist that is supposed to call me for an appointment…..Yay for me! <insert sarcasm here>  The positive news out of all of this is that it appears it has been discovered in time and with the diet and exercise regime I will be on things can be reversed.  This is actually something that reaffirms I did the right thing and may have saved my life in a different way because of the biopsy they performed during the surgery.

So to bring everyone up to current day.  I now on what is considered a full liquid diet which does afford me a few “solid” food choices… Though I use that term loosely.  I can have thinks like yogurt and cottage cheese.  Nothing spells mmm…mmm…good like a 1/4 cup of low fat cottage cheese mixed with a little fat free ricotta cheese.  My pill regimin is a little different right now and according to the the nurse at the Bariatric center I can only ever take 2 pills at one time…so between the vitamins and meds it becomes a little bit of a logistical nightmare to get them all in and down.  Though ever prepared in my swag bag they sent me home with from the hospital I did get a new fancy schmancy pill container…guess what?…It still isn’t big enough.  Said in my best Roy Scheider impression from Jaws…and instead of saying “we’re gonna need a bigger boat” It is “we’re gonna need a bigger pill-box.”

Currently my pill/vitamin regimen is:

  • blood pressure med 1x day
  • gall bladder med 2x day
  • acid reflux med 1x day
  • 2 Flitstone chewables – these move to swallow type at 3 months out from surgery
  • 3 calcium chewables (spread through out the day)
  • biotin 1x a day
  • Vitamin D 5000 iu 1x day
  • Vitamin B12 sublingual 1x week

Oh and throw in a half dozen Tylenol throughout the day to manage the residual pain.

I told my wife that I had a tickle in my throat and she told me maybe I should take another pill for that.  I jumped a little down her throat…I thought JFC…that is just what I need, just one more pill to try and fit in my daily schedule.  I feel like a Pez dispenser that someone just keeps filing everyday, but never taking any away.

Well loyal readers…this gets you to this morning and my current state.  I can honestly say I feel probably as good this morning as I have felt since coming home.  I still have a little pain, but it is definitely in check with the Tylenol.  I had a tasty 1/4 cup of yogurt for breakfast and have been sipping on a delicious glass of cold water as I pen this blog post.  My six incisions on my fraken-stomach have almost healed and the hot shower and shave this morning put me in a motivated mood.  Also, it didn’t hurt that when I got on the scale this morning it confirmed that my clothes are loose for a reason.  Since starting Optifast 30 days before my surgery I have lost 53 lbs., and since I came home from the hospital I have dropped 23 lbs. in under 10 days. Impressed?…I am.




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